My Love Pursuit Journey
During the course of seeking my husband, it was not easy. I got cheated by many men, including professing Christians, who took advantage of me emotionally and financially. If not because of 
/
/ 
/YHWH (commonly pronounced as “Yahuwah/Yahuah/Yehovah/Yahuweh/Yahweh”) Elohim in my life strengthening me, guiding and leading me through His Ruach ha’Qodesh/the Holy Spirit and my faith in Messiah 
/
/ 
/ 
/ 
(commonly pronounced as “Yahushua/Y’shua/Yeshua/Jesus”), and also the support I received from my pastor plus my love and responsibility for my only beloved son, I would have ended my life already.
Relocation and Marriage
In the spring of 2010, I met a wonderful Christian man online, so, in the summer of 2010, I gave up my business, and sold and gave away all my furniture, gave up my city-lifestyle and my friends, my church fellowship, then came to the USA to marry my “dream” husband who I thought was my “OLIVE TREE” and for him I could do anything. I believed that he was sent by Elohim and he would cherish me always. So, even though he had three kids, I didn’t think it would be a problem. My entire mind was focusing on him, building life with him, and working for Elohim together with him.
At that time, I was still very worldly and very IGNORANT, not knowing Elohim, His will and His Word. I put all my trust in men. My husband was a very nice man, who loved Elohim. But he is not perfect and neither am I. My expectation of him was very high and also a lot of that was based on my own desires and his beautiful promises to me.
The Love Promises That Touched My Heart
Just a few days before I left Canada for the USA to marry my husband, he told me that I was the “Hidden Treasure” in the field, a Priceless Pearl, so, for me he would sacrifice everything including his house and work extra jobs to love me. I have to mention here that I didn’t read much Bible then so I didn’t know the “Hidden Treasure in the field” and the “Precious Pearl” are parables in the Bible.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” (Matthew 13:44-46, New King James Version, NKJV)
Now, I need to point out that the “Hidden Treasure” and the “Precious Pearl” in the Bible refers to the Kingdom of Heaven, which I didn’t know that then. Now I know that and the man who sold everything to buy that field refers to a true disciple of 
the Messiah.
I didn’t know the true meaning of this parable then. I just knew then my soon-to-be husband’s promises were so beautiful and touching that I told my friends that I believed that he was the man I had been seeking all my life and he was the man I would give up everything to be with. So I did. I gave up my business, my friends, my church fellowship, my city life style in Canada to come to the USA for being with my beloved husband.
My Marital Trials Started
Shortly after I arrived, we got married. We had a very simple ceremony before the judge. There was no honeymoon whatsoever, for my husband had a very busy working schedule. Immediately after our marriage, I became a full-time housewife, and a step-mother of three teenager kids, besides being a mother for my only son.
We were a blended family so I faced hard challenges from relationships with my step kids. We lived in the city but more like a suburb area to me. And my husband had a small ranch which was not too big but big enough to have totally isolated me from the city, from outside of the world. Due to the fact that I didn’t learn driving and I had never driven a car my entire life before, I was isolated, not only from my former friends, my church, but also from my city lifestyles, from my business which I was so passionate about. Every day most of the time, I stayed at home alone facing the four walls, cleaning the house, and cooking. I barely got out of the house except going out to do some errands or eating out with the family.
Due to the big move, I could not work right away, so I had to stay at home. Actually, I was not really alone, for I knew Elohim was with me. But I still didn’t make time for Him to know Him personally – spending time with Him, studying His Word to build personal intimate relationship with Him until trials, really big trials hit me through my marriage – through my relationship with my husband and my step kids.
My husband was very busy at work. After his work, he had lots of other things to take care and also his kids needed his attention. Therefore, after all that, there was no much time left for him to spend with me. Worse than that, it seemed that everything we liked and did was opposite. We were so different in our lifestyles and in our hobbies. Anyway, for me, there was really a long list of disappointments. Especially a lot of promises he told me didn’t come true, which added more strain to our relationship.
According to my family education, if you keep a promise, you’d better keep it. Therefore, I used the same measurement to measure my husband. Seeing that he had failed his promises to me, I felt being deceived into my marriage with him, though I believed his intention was not deceptive. I believe my husband was willing to love me as he promised, but he realized later that he could not fulfill that. “Spirit indeed is willing, but flesh is weak.” as Messiah 
described in the Scripture (Matthew 26:41 b).
But I didn’t understand that then. I thought I was being deceived. All I knew was that his promises to me failed terribly. And I felt so deeply wounded, disappointed and so hurt that I realized that all my dreams had been shattered by my rush decision of marrying him without patiently discerning the will of Elohim for me in that.
Feeling Stuck and Isolated
But disappointments, complaints, regrets, sadness, tears, becoming a victim of life circumstances wouldn’t do me any good, for it was too late to undo the tie. So, giving up my marriage was not an option. I felt so stuck, so frustrated. I really tasted “Frustrations” in my soul. The first time in my life, I felt frustrated so much that I felt my situation was like in a miry clay, a horrible pit which was really like the situation described in Jeremiah 38:6: “So they took Jeremiah and cast him into the dungeon of Malchiah the king’s son, which was in the court of the prison, and they let Jeremiah down with ropes. And in the dungeon there was no water, but mire. So Jeremiah sank in the mire.” (Jeremiah 38:6, New King James Version, NKJV)
I felt I was truly in a horrible pit. I was mentally, emotionally and financially in a horrible pit. Only frustrations, regrets and pain surrounded me. I tasted every bit of bitterness from this process. I truly understood what was called bitterness – a word I never thought of or used before. Not only I understood that and I lived in that bitterness for a long time. Quite often during those days, we didn’t talk to each other. (I desired to talk to my husband, but he chose silence and distance himself from me, which hurt me worse than any physical violence.)
(I don’t blame my husband, because now have understood that who wanted to be close to a negative person like me, for all those days I was so negative. Complaining, arguing with him and blaming him was almost all that I gave to him. I don’t blame myself then either because I didn’t know better.)
Trials Continued
I totally lost hope in love. I felt my husband didn’t really love me. What added more torment to me was that the devil didn’t forget me. The devil started attacking me through my dreams again. I saw many different kinds of demons in my dream. I saw their faces and their entire body types in my house and some even near my bed where I was sleeping and dreaming. And I heard them blaspheming us as those Chinese. I was shock to know that they knew I was not the only Chinese there in my husband’s house for my son was with me. I heard their footsteps, the sound of opening my house entrance door, and their footsteps of going downstairs approaching me for that’s where my bed was, in the basement. They were throwing bricks at me in my vision. I felt bricks falling near my head and I knew I was just in a beginning-stage of sleep. Therefore, afterwards for a long time, I was afraid to sleep for I didn’t want to get more demonic attacks. I was mentally and spiritually tormented badly, so I cried for help.
My Desperation For Help
By the favor of Elohim, I did get help from Paster Graham, my pastor in Canada over the phone. He prayed for me patiently. I really appreciate that for I was being attacked seriously – mentally, spiritually. But at the same time I was overwhelmed by my trials through my marriage, and my finance, I didn’t know what to do so I started seeking numerology, horoscope and astrology again as I used to do, to seek the supernatural protection. I kind of thought that Elohim punished me because I didn’t obey Him to stay in Canada, instead, I forsook my church fellowship and moved to the USA to marry my husband. Therefore, I started seeking help from median again as I used to. That was a big and dangerous step I took again. That was a terrible mistake I had made!
I was desperately looking for help. I didn’t know that Elohim was there to help me so I didn’t ask Him. But I didn’t practice those occult activities that long, because in those days, I never gave up church fellowship. Therefore shortly after that, one pastor came to our house to give Bible study to my husband, my son and me. One day, I asked him if it was sin to practice numerology or horoscopes. He told me that those things like horoscopes were forbidden by Elohim. I didn’t know that before, so, I asked him why those fortune tellers could tell my future. The pastor said because Satan is a deceiver and he is a master counterfeiter. Satan does have some power and does make some miracles. But Elohim has all the power over Satan.
I then learned that Elohim didn’t like what I did, for I found that confirmation from the Bible, which I didn’t know that before because I didn’t read the Bible much. Under my husband’s help, I found Bible verses regarding divination, such as Leviticus 19:26, Leviticus 19:30-31, and Leviticus 20:6: “‘Guard My Shabbathoth and reverence My Miqdash. I am ‘Do not turn to mediums, and do not seek after spiritists to be defiled by them. I am your Elohim.'” (Leviticus 19:30-31, Halleluyah Scriptures, HS) “‘And the person who turns to mediums and familiar spirits, to prostitute himself with them, I will set My face against that person and cut him off from his people.'” (Leviticus 20:6, NKJV) “‘You shall not eat anything with the blood, nor shall you practice divination or soothsaying.'” (Leviticus 19:26, NKJV)
I love Elohim and I revere Him greatly, and He knows that. I was ignorant, but once people corrected me, I realized my wrong doing, and then I stopped that right away. So I destroyed all those occult books and information related to the horoscope and numerology, which I received from the mediums and I stopped all the contacts with them. But one thing I didn’t do. I didn’t ask Elohim for forgiveness and for deliverance either, for I was ignorant spiritually, and I didn’t know Elohim – I didn’t have a relationship with Him.
I was seeking for help as an ignorant person spiritually. I wished someone would have taught me in person how to ask Elohim to deliver me from demons and someone would have just told me I needed deliverance and repentance when I was facing a spiritual warfare and someone would have fought with me for this warfare at that time, I found none but Elohim and Master who helped me and guided me into the truth through His Holy Spirit/Ruach ha’Qodesh. The Truth set me free. Elohim saved me! HalleluYah! Praise Elohim! His help for me is better than anyone else’s in the world for He is Elohim, the Most High! HalleluYah! I praise Elohim! I’m so blessed to have Elohim in my life, for He is my help, my refuge and my strength, and he is my shepherd and I shall not lack anything! No one can compare to Him! I have Him, which is sufficient for me! HalleluYah!
My Spiritual Awakening
After that, seeing my trials getting bigger and bigger, I asked my husband to go with me to get some advice from marriage counselors, and we did so. We got consultation from our church pastor and also from Christian marriage counselors but unfortunately, I didn’t see real improvement in my marriage situation. So I gave up hope of seeking help from men and I gave up hope for seeing changes in my husband as well.
I knew I could only change myself and my situation. So, I decided to seek Elohim for help for I believe He is the best counselor. I wanted to know how to improve my relationships with all my family and how to be the best wife for my husband, so, I started to listen to sermons about relationships, marriages, and at the same time listening to worship songs. To my surprise, I discovered that the more I listened, the more I started to realize that Elohim is really related to our everyday life affairs, which was not like my old belief that I thought Elohim only would deal with me after I left this world. Therefore, I started listening to those sermons every day and it became my daily habit, which actually strengthened me greatly.
I greatly thank Elohim for the following pastors and their sermons on line that helped me grow strong in Elohim and the Master (Y’shua/Yeshua/Jesus):
Paul Graham http://www.upcsaintlaurent.org/
Raymond Woodward http://www.capitalcommunity.ca/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTma8wm-HvEVbpxqu-YTlAw
I like music especially singing so I started singing worshiping songs. From those worshiping songs, especially the following, I began to understand and appreciate how Great Love Elohim has given me, for He sent His Son, His Only Son to die on my place for my sins and for the sins of the world. Messiah gave His life for me and the world, for He really loved us! I was touched by His amazing love for me for He has saved me, an undeserved sinner by sacrificing His precious life for me!
Here are the lyrics of the worship songs I loved:
“Worthy is the Lamb ”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gKsPMR00_Y
“Amazing Grace” by Chris Tomlin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YFGzY_8li8
“At the Cross”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF-5aO2GYiY by Hill Song worship”,
“Amazing Love” by HillSong https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avJ4lDnZWRU,
I was moved to tears whenever I listened to these songs and whenever I saw the movie “Passion of Christ”, especially the scene of Crucifixion. I cried whenever I saw that, seeing the torment which Messiah had to bear, the betrayal, the mocking, the stripes, the shame, the rejection He bore for me and the world. He didn’t deserve that for He was sinless. But He chose to give Himself to me and to the whole world. He took punishment for me and for the world in order that we have forgiveness of sins and we could have everlasting life through Him. What amazing love is that! The love He gave me is beyond the love that I had expected in my entire life! I realized that no one loved and loves me like what Messiah did and does.
My Spiritual Journey Began
From then on, I started reading the Word/Bible/Scriptures, for I wanted to know Him. But I still had difficulty in understanding His Word. I did not pray those days and I did not know how to pray either. But one day during my house cleaning process, I found in the house a yellow booklet which belong to my husband I guess. That taught people how to build a relationship with Elohim and Master . One major suggestion from the booklet was like this “Imaging that our Elohim and Master , our King, our Savior was sitting in a room in your house every day waiting for you to talk to Him, but you did not make time for him. You did not go into the room to spend time with him. Then how sad is that?”
The words in that booklet did stir up my soul. Therefore shortly afterwards I started learning how to hear Elohim’s voice on line from a online Christian University. I learnt how to discern His voice, and how to build relationship with Him. I also listened to a lot of the on-line sermons from a few Pentecostal churches. One of that was recommended by my pastor in Canada. I really enjoyed the process of listening to those sermons on line.
During this course, I realized I had sinned terribly against Elohim, especially by putting men before Elohim in my heart and in my life. One day, in the midst of my trial, which was actually the moment I hit my “rock-bottom” in life, for I had no way to turn, all my earthly means exhausted, all my hope and dreams in seeking love from men got shattered and lost, I really got on my knee with unstoppable tears on my face, with tremendous pain in my heart, I started praying with all my heart and all my being to ask Elohim for mercy and forgiveness and deliverance.
I had true repentance from my heart, and acknowledged that Elohim and Master was “THE OLIVE TREE” of my dream – the True Love of my life! He was the One I had been travelling all over the world seeking for. He was my TRUE LOVE, the Lover of my Soul! I admitted Only He would love me and had loved me as I had always dreamed of and more than I had dreamed of. I gave thanks for what He had done in my life for he had shed his precious blood for me to die on my place for my sins. I told Him that He was and would be my Everything and I believed Him, I trusted Him and would believe and trust Him forever; I surrendered all to Him, and that I would love Him forever and He would be my forever Top Priority in my life, and I would work for Him to do His will. I acknowledged that He is my Savior. I thanked Him for coming to my life, dwelling in my heart for I believed that He had come to my life already by His Ruach Ha’Qodesh/Holy Spirit. He is worthy! Worthy is the Lamb! He is my Master, King and Savior forever! I will love Him forever.
This was my love commitment to Elohim and Master : I will follow Him no matter what, being His disciple, and I will deny myself, following Him, and I will love Him with all my being, obeying Him and working for Him always and He is and will be always my Top Priority.
That was the day when I called upon Elohim for the first time of my life and started seeking Him and building my relationship with my Elohim and my Master, my King the Messiah, my Savior and that was the day I made my life commitment to Him. I will never forget that day. It was a day in April 2011. It might be April 12, 2011. There are two Christian songs called “I Give You My Heart” and “I Surrender All”, which could describe my desire, my commitment to Him the best!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZGzu6oI9b4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2IpLSfqp8.
From that day, I started praying and reading the Bible, word by word. I fell in love with it! I had an unquenchable hunger and thirst for His Word. I loved to devour it if I could. I read the Living Word many hours a day without stopping.
My First Prophecy Received
A month later, I received a prophecy from a female preacher from Canada. It was given during a Christian women’s conference in US, where my sister-in-law took me to attend. During that conference, a female pastor prophesied over me. In fact, that day I was the only one singled out by her to have prophecy spoken over me. Also, this was the first time in my life, someone prophesied over me. I remember she told me an “OPEN DOOR” prophecy. She told me that she kept hearing “open door”, “open door”, when I passed by her that morning. She told me that God/Elohim has set before me an open door, and no one could shut it and Elohim would be with me, and I should boldly go through it.
After I heard this prophecy, I was so happy and so excited, for it was a confirmation for me that Elohim knew me and He was with me and He would use me, which also confirmed once more my childhood belief in His special plan and mission for me in my life. I was only a visitor to that church. I felt so blessed and honored to be singled out by her and given prophecy to me that day, especially only to me that day though I didn’t truly understand the full meaning of the prophecy then, for I hadn’t even finished reading the Bible the first time. But Later in my life, after I finished reading the whole Bible the first time in my life, I found a verse in the Scripture related to the prophecy I was given. It is Revelation 3:8: “‘I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name.’” (Revelation 3:8, NKJV)
Marriage Trials Continued
At that time, I was just in the process of reading the Bible. I came to the Book of Psalms. But before I finished the whole Bible, in the midst of the storm, I left my husband for Canada at the end of July 2011, wishing he would move there with me, for I couldn’t bear the trials much longer and I didn’t have the patience which I should have.
Actually, one of the major reasons I had to leave was that I had no job in the US then and I had no money left for me to pay off some of my credit card debts in Canada I needed to pay. I had used up all my previous savings to pay that debt, but I still couldn’t pay all that back, and my husband failed to fulfil his promises of helping me take care of the debt, so I was forced in a way to go back to Canada where I could work immediately. But in the USA, I had to wait to get my professional license which was all time and money consuming. Therefore I felt that I had no choice but leave. I then believed that it was an open door set by Elohim for me, going back to Canada. I obviously misunderstood the “Open Door Prophecy” which I had received. I know now if I had finished reading the Bible then, I would not have left my husband for Canada. But I didn’t go back to the original city where I came from, for I believed if I did that, divorce would happen, but Elohim hates divorce. Since I have made commitments to Elohim to love Him and do His will, not my will, I didn’t choose to divorce. If it was really my will, the will of the “old me”- the one who didn’t surrender to Elohim, I would just give my marriage up and go back to the city where I had business before and that would be so much easier for me. But I already had Elohim in my life and I loved Him and loved to do things that pleased Him. Though I just started seeking my personal relationship with Elohim and Messiah , and I was then still ignorant of spiritual matter because I did not finish reading the Word and didn’t understand fully what I had read either, I knew I needed to keep my promises to Elohim to put Him first always! Therefore, I didn’t choose divorce and retreat to the city where I lived in Canada.
I suffered a lot during the two months away. I those days, I felt I was being refined like iron going through a furnace. I knew it would have been much easier for me if I just gave up my marriage, going back to the Canadian city where I came from. But for the sake of saving my marriage, I chose a different Canadian city which was close to where my husband’s house was. But I knew no one in this new city so it was very difficult for me to settle down to find a job to support my son and myself especially I didn’t drive a car. I sought strength daily from Elohim. Elohim really humbled me those days. The spirit of pride and vanity really lost control of me, for I loved Elohim and there is nothing I will not do for Him.
Those days, I felt very sad and deeply wounded in my heart by my husband’s unfulfilled promises, his mistrust, and his giving up on our marriage. But Elohim did not forsake me. He showed His great favor to me for He was with me and He truly loved me more than anyone else does in this world. He provided me with the job opportunities and I managed to live there with my 11-year-old son just fine without any financial support from my husband. Elohim is my shepherd, my provider and I trusted that He would provide me and my son, And He did. for He is a faithful Elohim and He will never forsake me and my son and He truly loves us!
I believed that my husband might be deeply wounded by his previous divorce after 18-year marriage, which happened three years before he married me. After he married me, he told me that he would never let any woman control his finances, therefore, he would have separate finance always. Actually, I never wanted to control his finance. I just wished we had oneness. I believe an oneness relationship shouldn’t have separate agendas including separate finances. From his words, I understood that he didn’t trust me and he wouldn’t trust me, for I was a woman, even though I gave all my trust to him and gave up my business, my favorite city lifestyle, my friends, and church family to come to him, for being with him. It seemed to me that it was still not good enough for him to trust me.
I believed that my husband might have had emotional walls built up inside his heart before he married me. Despite how much trust I had for him, he couldn’t let the wall down for he had fear. Fear of losing money, or fear of losing his house or fear of divorce again. I didn’t know what fear he had. I just knew that trust is necessary and essential in a true marriage. My parents trusted each other so much. Though they argued often, they never had separate agendas and separate finances. They truly loved and trusted each other. Therefore, it was very difficult for me to stay in a marriage without trust. I’d rather be in a marriage with arguments like my parents did, than in a marriage without trust if I had to choose between the two.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18, NKJV)
According to the Scriptures, “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18 a). But I was a very canal woman when I married my husband and even then so and I was also deeply wounded and desperate for love, so it would be impossible for him then to see the Perfect Love – the Love of Elohim and Messiah in me through me. I actually just came out of a heart-broken love affair before I married to my husband. I had a lot of imperfections and I was a challenging mate to live with and also I was still living according to my carnal minds for I didn’t know the Word of Elohim well. My mind was so caught up with the sacrifice previously I had made in order to be with my husband. Considering the fact that I had given up everything I had in Canada because of my marriage with my husband in the USA, I certainly wouldn’t expect receiving mistrust from him.
I was expecting true love. As I mentioned earlier, I did find the amazing love, the best love, the true love from Elohim and Master the Messiah, but I also couldn’t help wishing that my believing Christian husband would cherish me, love me as Messiah loved the church – His Body, especially after I had known that he had been a Christian for a long time.
Actually, one of the reasons why I married him was that he told me before we got married that he was a Christian. I thought he would love me since he was a devoted Christian. But I didn’t realize that my husband was broken also. How can a broken vessel fix another broken one? It is impossible. How can I expect love from one who was not able to give? Elohim is love! My husband and I, we both are vessels of Elohim. We are the clay, Elohim is the Potter, the Maker, the Former! Love is from Elohim. Only Elohim can heal us, put our broken pieces back together, for He is our Maker!
But unfortunately, I didn’t realize that then. I was so self-focused then. What I wanted from my marriage with my husband was love! The Love only Elohim can give! Elohim is love! But I didn’t seek Elohim. I was seeking this love from my husband who was incapable to give this kind of love though he had made promises like that. Therefore, I was doomed to get disappointment.
We both actually should have sought Elohim as the source of our love, instead of seeking that from one each other. Only the love of Elohim filled our being so much that we would be able to give that out to each other. We both should have shared the love of Elohim, the love of Messiah with each other unconditionally, instead of expecting constantly to be loved. Love is not self-seeking, as it is written in the Bible. But unfortunately, I didn’t know that then, for I didn’t finish reading the Bible, especially I didn’t know Elohim and Master that much then.
I am actually very thankful that it was Elohim who brought me to Himself through the hardships that occurred in my marriage with my husband. Just like it was Elohim’s plan for Joseph to go through that trial in order to fulfill the plan of Elohim (Genesis 50:19-20), so, I believe it was Elohim’s plan for me to come to the USA to marry my husband. For I believe that without my suffering through my marriage with my husband, I would not have surrendered to Elohim and started seeking and building a personal and intimate relationship with Him. Therefore deeper in my heart, I really thank Elohim for my husband and for the circumstance Elohim put me in. I know Elohim is with me wherever I go, and He will never forsake me even though my family, my husband, or my friend could forsake me.
There is a Christian Song called “WITH All I AM”, which I sang every day during those dark days of my life, I sought strength daily by fixing my eyes on Elohim and the Master Messiah and on His amazing love for me.
Here is the video link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ_-5JplSVg and lyrics I would like to share.
“WITH ALL I AM” By Hillsong
“Into your hands I commit again with all I am, for you, lord. You hold my world in the palm of your hand and I am yours forever. Jesus, I believe in you. Jesus, I belong to you. You’re the reason that I live. The reason that I sing with all I am. I’ll walk with you wherever you go. Through tears and joy, I’ll trust in You. And I will live in all of Your ways, Your promises forever. Jesus, I believe in You. Jesus, I belong to You. You’re the reason that I live, the reason that I sing with all I am. Jesus, I believe in You Jesus I belong to You. You’re the reason that I live, the reason that I sing with all I am. I will worship You; I will worship You; I will worship You; I will worship You …”
I waited for my husband there but he didn’t want to move over there though he had told me previously that he might move over there but he later he told me that he had made up his mind that he would never move over there. I felt being rejected again in my life. For all those years in my love-seeking journey among men, I always left a man before giving him a chance to abandon me. I never approached a man voluntarily for the fear of being rejected even if sometimes I did like the man. The spirit of rejection followed me since I was a child all the way through my adulthood even to my marriage with my husband.
Though feeling extremely unloved, rejected, abandoned, I moved back to my husband two months later after his invitation, because I love Elohim and I did not want to displease Him for He hates divorce. For I knew, if I didn’t go back, the only solution would be divorce. Of course, I loved my husband also. I had dream one night before I moved back to him. In my dream, I saw demons surrounding my husband, and his eyes were bleeding badly, then I knew I was fighting a spiritual warfare. I came back to my husband trying to work things out with him. Thanks to the favor of Elohim that my husband gladly picked me up and took me back home. I really appreciated the fact that my husband had been faithful to me during those separated days and his willingness to take me back.
Every marriage has challenges but those who seek strength from Elohim and put Elohim first in their lives will overcome those challenges. This was the statement given by Pastor Graham, my former pastor in Canada. I am so thankful that , my King, my Savior has fought and won the battle for me for my marriage against the attacks from Satan. HalleluYah! Praise Elohim!
—- To Be Continued in Part 4 —- Click Here to go back to Part 1
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, NKJV)
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NKJV)
“Beloved ones, let us love one another, because love is of Elohim, and everyone who loves has been born of Elohim and knows Elohim. The one who does not love does not know Elohim, for Elohim is love.” (Yohanan Aleph/1 John 4:7-8, ISR)
“For in Messiah 
neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any strength, but belief working through love.” (Galatiyim/Galatians 5:6, ISR)
Notes and Bibliography
The Scripture verses in this article are from the following:
- HalleluYah Scriptures (HS)
- The Scriptures, ISR
- New King James Version (NKJV)
Hebrew Fonts Resources: www.ancient-hebrew.org
Other Resources in this article include:
Lyrics of the song “WITH ALL I AM” By Hill Song
Video URLs
Paul Graham, http://www.upcsaintlaurent.org/
Raymond Woodward, http://www.capitalcommunity.ca/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTma8wm-HvEVbpxqu-YTlAw
“Worthy is the Lamb”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gKsPMR00_Y
“Amazing Grace” by Chris Tomlin, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YFGzY_8li8
“At the Cross” by Hill Song worship”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF-5aO2GYiY
“Amazing Love” by Hill Song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avJ4lDnZWRU
“I Give You My Heart”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZGzu6oI9b4
“I Surrender All”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2IpLSfqp8.
“With All I AM”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ_-5JplSVg
